January 20, 2007

The OCD Blog

Welcome to The OCD Blog, a group blog open to everyone who wants to post. Post personal stories, links to interesting OCD websites and blogs, news stories, commentary, or just your thoughts for the day. Post as often as you like. No registration required! Visit the submit page to submit content.

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medical research

A medical research group advertised for volunteers with obsessive compulsive disorder to take part in a study of their condition. The response was overwhelming: 300 replies the day the advert was published. Unfortunately they were all from the same person.

;@)

1. Posted by sally on February 5, 2007

Hi everyone. :) I'm fifteen years old but I will be turning sixteen on May 23. I'm excited! But about my comment. I have an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Trichotillomania. I've been struggling with it ever since I was eight years old but I only began pulling my hair at the age of thirteen. The only way I found out, which was at the age of fourteen, was when I looked it up online. My mother really was no help in the mean time before that, considering she pretty much knew about this but never proceeded to inform me about it. But she has been there to help me cope with the fact that I have this disorder. I currently can't get any help for it because I have no money to be able to pay for it but I am hoping that in the near future, I'll be able to do something about it. I always thought that it was bad enough that I pulled my eyelashes, but thought it was quite normal, or maybe just never thought about it as something terrifying. But then when I began to pull my hair that I was always in love with since I had the beautiful Goldy Lock curls, I really knew what it was like to feel the pain of Trichotillomania. I just want to be able to find somebody to talk to that knows what it is like to go through exactly what I am going through. I'll be here more often so if you have anything to tell me then, great! :)

2. Posted by Becky Peters on April 19, 2007

A Tortured Mind Never Stops The Torture

I have brutal Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Now, I am on a new issue. I am obsessed with the temperature of our apartment. We have two older landlords who live above us who control the thermostat in our old radiator heated apartment. I have complained several times about the temperature in our living room being too low. They have acted as if they were going to make the necessary adjustments. They even bought us a thermometer as a measure of good faith. That was the worse thing they could have done. Well, afterward the temperature has still remained a few degrees too cold. Like around 67 when it should be at least 68 degrees. I again complained and again complained and the last time I complained the old guy got very annoyed and said maybe we had an incompatible relationship. Then, I got obsessed even worse and started sitting and staring at the thermometer day after day. Then my girlfriend started to get angry that I have been in a perpetual daze staring at the thermometer and thinking about nothing else other then my other problem which is that I cannot complet a sneeze which is a subject for another day. Anyway, she also told me not to write anymore notes or call the landlords again. Meanwhile, I cannot get the temperature off my mind. It's exactly like a dog barking, or loud music playing, or a door slamming or other similar things that I have gotten obsessed about in the past. I feel powerless about being unable to resolve what I cannot control so I am tormented by it.

Posted by David at 8:24 AM

www.cashguy1111.blogspot.com

3. Posted by David on December 21, 2007

I am a producer on a new show for a major cable network that emphasizes Entertainment, the Arts and Education. We are doing a show in conjuncture with a well-established, world-famous OCD Center here in Los Angeles.

We are looking for people for our show with OCD, anxiety, hoarding or extreme fears that are affecting their everyday life.

By offering these people free therapy (for 12 weeks and then follow up treatment) we hope to
help them, and hopefully help others that will be watching our show.

If you or anyone you know might be interested, please let us know!

therapycasting@tijuanaent.com
310-341-2500 - ask for casting

4. Posted by Jane Smith on February 25, 2008

Hi.I am Jade and I am 12 yrs old.I am not exactlly sure that I have OCD until I found out on a comment on a Youtube that someone had the same problem as me and they have OCD.Well,my problem since this year is that Iwould take hours and hours on doing my hair mostly as simple as a pony tail.I dont know what it is but my mom would make me get up 2 hours earlier then your supose to get up which is 8 am but i have to get up at 6 am each morning just to do my hair or i will be late.it mostly happens when i get ready for school.my mom says i get it perfect at the first time i do it but i think i don't.just from one strand or one little bump i have to take it down and do it atleast 20-50 times in a hour.i usually run out of time and just have to keep it that way or i finally get it perfect after 2 hours by putting half a bottle of hairspray on it and making my hands feel numb after 2 hours.even after PE in teh locker room i am teh last one left in tehre because i am fixing my hair and i will end up being late for.or i will ask my teachers in the middle of a lesson if i can use the bathroom because i cant concentrate with my hair being a little out of place and when they say no i will say its an emergancy and they will let me go.i am always 20 minutes-30 minutes late to dance class when i live 2 minutes away from the place just because it takes me so long because i always do my hair over and over again.i try leaving it down but that just makes it more messy and it gets all frizzy.i know its not a problem for how my hair is i know its just me.i have to use a comb to take out all teh little bumps i hate which works until i get soo frusterated i just take it down or start crying and mess it all up on purpose,or start argueing at my mom for no reason.Or most of teh times i would use a half a bottle of new hair spray on my hair and then take it down and it would just be worse and all sticky and hard.my mom says using to much hair spray can damage my hair,make it flaky,and kill the oxon but i cant help it and i just force myself to use it.i know this could be OCD but if someone can tell me how to solve it and if it really is i would gladly appreciate it.my mom never really told me it was and i just never really knew.and i even remember reading my journal to the whole language arts class about "on thing you hate about yourself" and i said my hair and i explained why.everyone was making fun of me saying i don't know how to do my hair and i am just over exagerating.

i hate thsi and i dont want to waste money by using to much hairspray and dance class whne i end up always late because of this,waste time on something simple,get my mom angry,and etc.

Please respond on this!

Thank you:)

5. Posted by Jade on March 28, 2008

Hi its Jade again.I also think i have OCD from another reason rather then my hair.Also,it could be because of my brothers tv.I always had this problem sine the first day he got a tv in his room a about 3 years ago.His room is right next to mine and even when i can hear it a smidge bit from his room i go bilistic and slam his door closed.This has always been a habit with me and even with his door closed i can still hear it.So i usually just go in his room and turn it down myself.This has been happening for a long time now and i usually do this habit 30-40 times a day.And yes my brothers does get frusterated with it and does tell my mom and dad but now he doesn't even care since hes so used to it.But when he gets in a bad mood he usually locks his door and turns it up high or go tell my mom when shes sleeping or bothers my dad and calls him at work when hes working and tells him.My mom threatened to move his room into teh other side of teh house if i keep doing it,threatned to take my cell phone away for 2 weeks,my dad threatned to remove his dooor,and much much more!But as much as i dont want to get in trouble i still turn his tv down where he can barely hear it and stll close his door 30 times a day.its REALLY annoying when i try to sleep and hes still up so i try solving teh problem by going to sleep after he does so i dont hear the tv.ALso he always wakes up early and i ALWAYS sleep in.But its weird beacuse my mom or dad can have the living room tv or tyhere tv turned up high but its something with my bros tv when he barely turns it up and i can just hear an echoe or anything i get up or get out of anytthing im in (the shower,my bed,etc) and turn it down and close his door.

IS THIS OCD??!!

please respond!!!

thanks:)

6. Posted by Jade on March 28, 2008

To Jade,
I am not a Heathcare proffesional but I have lived and married a person with OCD. I have been with her for 8 years and we have two children. I'm not sure if anyone answered your posts and I would think someone would, but I am new to this blogging site.
It is my opinion that you do have OCD and the sooner you get your parents to recognize it and get treatment, the better. (That is if they already don't know.)
They may know already and are trying to manage. Unless you live it or around it, people can not understand the effect and burden you carry. It is very difficult to live in an OCD household.

My wife used to take 2-3 hour long showers. She would be shivering, crying in the cold because her ritual was not going well and she kept messing up and starting over. She suffers fear from dirt, garbage, cleanliness issues, and too many other things to mention. She is on medication now and doing much better. She holds down a job and can drive. Medication does not cure it, it only takes the edge off inorder to cope and live in an outwardly looking normal life. But I know the internal struggles that exist every day and every hour.
A proffesional may help you try to ease your hair and noise obsession. It is called behavior modification therapy.
I'm sorry there is no good news. The therapy is an uphill battle, but it will help you live a more normal life.

Good luck Jade

7. Posted by steve on May 6, 2008

forgetting?

I'm 18 years old, and i have spent most of my teenage life worried and anxious over the past. over silly things like making a mistake in math class, or saying a sentence with improper grammar. these things can bother me for months and i have no idea how to work with this. there are tons of mistakes i've made in the past, and every day and every night i spend hours fretting over them; what i could have done differently and how what i did affected me or other people or even the way other people think of me. it's strange... most of the time i don't even sleep because i'm thinking about a car accident i got into that was a stupid mistake, or losing my check card, or even something stupid like mispronouncing a word. it's obscenely difficult to handle sometines.
is this OCD?

8. Posted by chelsea on June 4, 2008

Hey guys, I actually bet that everyone coming here that has posted has OCD. It sure sounds like it through your stories, the suffering and mental battles simply wear you out, and I know exactly how you feel. I'm 24 years old, and have had OCD since I was very young. I have struggled with it all, it used to be germs, tons of irrational fears, etc., and now I doubt many things and have to ask reassurance questions over and over. I have a few blogs where I write it all out, and it tends to help, especially when I am in the eye of the storm and an anxiety attack is beginning. If anyone would like to talk, email me on my email provided. I can also give you blog links. Know that you aren't alone in your suffering and even though your dark tunnel seems to loop and loop, there is light ahead at some point. That doesn't mean it's easy, but you aren't alone. My doctor told me just yesterday that people with OCD are in the top, superior level of a human being. He said we were immensely genuine, and someone had asked him a few days earlier if he had to pick one person with only ONE certain trait to trust with anything, what would that trait be? And he said it would be someone with OCD for sure, because we are intelligent, and good people all around. Pretty cool to think about. Take care guys.

9. Posted by Bekah on June 11, 2008

This is for Bekah. Thank you for sharing your story. I have a 20-year-old daughter who has been struggling with OCD for the past year. She, like you, is a smart, hard-working, and very sweet girl for whom OCD is making life miserable. She is constantly going over things that happened in the past (even recently) to make sure she has done nothing "wrong" to hurt someone. Her biggest fear is that she has done something wrong or bad and doesn't remember it. She has never had an episode of this actually happening or of blacking out and being unable to remember events. As you can probably guess, this makes it difficult for her to have fun and enjoy herself. She is seeing a therapist and working on ways to help her handle these thoughts. She is keeping a journal but that is turning out to be another way to reinforce her compulsions as she writes down everything she does every day and checks to make sure she can account for every minute. Only then does she feel confident that she did nothing wrong. This is taking up so much time and not really helping in the long run. I feel so bad that she struggles so hard but never seems to find an answer. I am at a loss of where to turn next to try and help her. Any suggestions you have would be so welcome. Thanks and congratulations to you for reaching out to help others.

10. Posted by Concerned Mom on June 15, 2008

Concerned Mom:

Know that neither you nor your daughter is alone. I can understand your daughter's anxiety 100%. Although I've never worried I hurt someone, I've been constantly afraid of getting hurt by people I trust. Like obsessing over whether or not what they told me has been the truth, and playing out millions of scenarios in my head of what could be them lying. Writing for me helps, but you are right it seems like for your daughter is taking away her time in life. That's the biggest thing OCD does, is steal time and happiness. That is good that she is seeing a therapist, but I am going to ask, is it an OCD specialist? I've seen a few different doctors, and still have the same psychologist (or whichever one prescribes medication) and just recently he suggested I see a counselor again. When I was younger I was seeing an OCD specialist, and that really helped because they were very well aware of what OCD does and it's process. Another thing I am going to suggest to you is medication. It helps so much you seriously wouldn't believe. I have upped my dosage just in the past week and have noticed a difference. My doctor said that the biggest threat to anyone with OCD's success ends up being what is inside of them. I take that to mean, we who suffer from OCD seem to create our own demise, certainly not on purpose but because we have no choice, we just need to get rid of this anxiety that is ever present. The medication doesn't make you a zombie, it simply helps your chemical, seratonin, flow like it is supposed to. That way your mind gets more balanced out. It is very good that you are embracing the OCD your daughter faces, it will make it easier for her to cope with, but remember to never enable it. I highly suggest medication, and OCD therapist, and she can even talk to me if she would like, so that she knows she isn't alone. bekah.stoops@gmail.com

11. Posted by Bekah on June 18, 2008

I used to have OCD. I may still have it a little bit. I'd say that if it was 100% when it was really bad, then it is 1% now. What worked for me was meditation. It had been all the swirling thoughts that kept the rituals going and meditation helped to still my thoughts. And once my thoughts stilled somewhat (I haven't completely mastered this yet) I was able to take the difficult step of not doing a ritual when I was sure that I had to. My mantra became "it will be easier next time" and once I had a win I held on to it firmly. If I knew that I had been able to keep from doing some OCD ritual one time or in one circumstance, if that ever came up again I knew that I had overcome it once before and by God I wasn't going to give in to that ever gain.

The meditation was hard, it's not easy to still your thoughts but it was worth it. Do it whenever you can. Just sit quietly or focus your attention on a safe object. The key is to regain control of your thoughts. It can be done. I had great success with this but I still had rituals (which were far less consuming than they had been). What helped at this stage was EFT. You can look this up at emofree.com or Google it. When you feel OCD trying to take over, you can tap on the EFT points and this might just help you like it helped me.

I have been free of OCD for nearly 3 years now. Please know that you don't have to accept OCD as a part of your life. You can overcome it just like I did. I wish you all the very best.

12. Posted by exOCD on February 2, 2009

heyy
i have ocd and would like to help other people or if people think they might have it and want help
please email me on ocd.help@hotmail.co.uk
at the moment i am making a blog to help and to share problems with ocd etc.
xx

13. Posted by Rachel on May 8, 2009

Hi Jade and others,
I too, had suffered tremendously with ocd symptoms, until I finally found a woman with severe ocd who completely rid herself of all symptoms naturally. No meds. She has been a naturopath for over 20 years because of ocd and other health issues. She's also discovered a common denominator with ocd, depression, ADD, ADHD, anxiety, trichotillomania, MS, and more. According to her research, a thin myelin sheath and a weak liver are the underlying causes of these disorders. I host some of her free online classes, and the next class is actually on this subject. It's titled "Stressed Out", and is very helpful and informative. I highly recommend it. If you or anyone is interested in knowing more or if you want to attend the free online class, then please contact me at c_rullman@yahoo.com

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15. Posted by viagra bestellen on July 20, 2009

My girlfriend has OCD. I wonder why she gets upset when I talk before we go to bed. For me it's a winding down. For her it's an annoyance and every time I say anything more than 3 words she has to get up and wash...i don't remember this from when we first started dating, so why is she doing this now?

Anyone have any similar problems or insights.

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I believe i have OCD.
There are SO many things that i have to do, and if i dont it wont get out of my head that i havent done it. I think the worst and most annoying thing is reading. If i miss out a word while reading, i have to read the whole paragraph again. I also have to read each road sign i go past and each numberplate of a car that i walk past(or that drives by). I have to say the words of the sign in my head, and have to say the punctuatuion too, for example if a road sign said "London" id be saying "London, capital L" in my head for about 5 minutes. Its horrible and ive never come across anyone else who has this problem with their OCD. Nobody who i know understands my problems or what i go through in my head. Would love to hear about everyone else :}.

38. Posted by Anonymous on August 21, 2009

I believe i have OCD.
There are so many things that i have to do, and if i dont it wont get out of my head that i havent done it. I think the worst and most annoying thing is reading. If i miss out a word while reading, i have to read the whole paragraph again. I also have to read each road sign i go past and each numberplate of a car that i walk past(or that drives by). I have to say the words of the sign in my head, and have to say the punctuatuion too, for example if a road sign said "London" id be saying "London, capital L" in my head for about 5 minutes. Its horrible and ive never come across anyone else who has this problem with their OCD. Nobody who i know understands my problems or what i go through in my head. Would love to hear about everyone else :}.

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I am 14 teen years old I have severe ocd i have had it since i was 3 (moving my toys and bottles in the right spot screaming when they got moved)I have always cried at school when something wasnt right part of me always says this is dumb no big deal well the other part says this is a big deal and i cant help it i cry.I never knew why i cried i tryed to stop myself with self rewards punishments(if i cried i thought something terrible would happen.)nothing worked turns out its part of my ocd and i`ll out grow it.it sucks but still its better than for my whole life.

50. Posted by niki on September 3, 2009

sorry for this long post, i've just never shared this before. so i have a lot to say.

i am 18 year old, and well, life kinda hard for me. I spend hours a day arguing with myself, sometimes i even argue weather or not i have o.c.d. all i can say is that there's something wrong in my head. I'm always scared, or worried, or freaking out about something. I find myself have way more panic attacks then usual, the last time i had one was a week ago on the bus. it was really crowded and i really, really, really dont like crowed areas. so i get a seat next to this older women and across for a nice, young, hot girl. now the only way i can deal with this shit to blare my music, but this bitch next to me told me to turn it down. thats when everything went wrong. i started twitching, breathing hard, shaking and taping my feet and hands and when i got to my stop i leap outta my seat, and when that bus pulled away i broke down out on the side walk, it was so fucking embarrassing.
even right now i wanna delete what i just wrote because i don't want anyone to read it, but i wont.
i have a hard time getting dressed. if the way i look is not perfect i will try and try until i look right. i change my outfit a lot sometimes, i say about two or three times a day, some days even up to five or six.
i have a hard time controlling what i think about. this week i could not stop thinking about my ex girlfriend and her new boyfriend. it makes me feel so worthless, like i'll never be good enough for anyone, ever. what really fucked me up was she tells him, she loves him. she never told me that.
i hate being touched by strangers, or people i don't trust. i shut everyone out around so that i dont have to talk about my feelings, i hate talking about my feelings. i feel so extremely awkward when i do, so i've completely stopped. i hate it when people ask me the same question more then three times, i makes me wanna stab there's eyes really violently. i do get a lot of violent thoughts most of the time. i'll be walking down the street and imagine myself chopping the people i see in to little bits with a meat cleaver or something, and its kinda scary that i would think this, i know i'd never hurt anyone, i just can help think this.
if you can see, its been years since i've shared anything with anyone about my problems, i just can't go to anyone, the only family i have is my mother, father, brother, sister, and sister-in-law and i can only feel comfortable talking to my sister-in-law, but she'll tell my dad and mom, and i don't want that. i have only two real friends, one i feel comfortable around but she dose not want me to share with her, because she doesn't like it, and i've lied to my other friend about my problems because she believes that life is great and anyone sad is just dumb, and i can never and will never talk to a guy about this, because i fear that they won't think im a man.
i talk to myself a lot, and i explain myself to myself a lot too, which is weird but i do it constantly.
i don't like the feeling of dirt on my hands, even just a tiny bit i have to wash my hands. and im scared that people will notice me doing these things. like i go to a culinary school and we're always touching things, and im always constantly washing my hands, but i try to do it in a way where no will notice because I'm scared that someone might ask why do i wash my hands so much. im also scared of having sex, i mean i really want to, i just don't not want to talk after it, i don't want them to talk about how much they love and what not, because im scared of being too emotionally close to someone. it scares that that someone could love me that much. i don't like it.

i could say much, much more then i already have, but i think you get that life is hard for me. or at least i feel this way. if anyone could tell me what they think about my so called problems, and if they feel the same or something, then maybe i could feel not so alone anymore...

51. Posted by elwood-joesph on September 20, 2009

sorry for this long post, i've just never shared this before. so i have a lot to say.

52. Posted by elwood-joesph on September 20, 2009

sorry for this long post, i've just never shared this before. so i have a lot to say.

53. Posted by elwood-joesph on September 20, 2009

Elwood-joesph -- I'm glad you're posting, it shows that you're reaching out. I can tell that you are suffering. And I know you can be helped. But you need to talk to a counselor who can help you with your depression. I know lots of people who had many of the same sentiments that you do -- and were helped in therapy and medication, too. Imagine being free from all this suffering. It can happen -- so use your abundant energy to help yourself. This can certainly be helped!
good luck to you.

54. Posted by victoria Zielinski on September 30, 2009

I came searching for a website like this because I need to understand what is happening to me. I have always had some "ritual" behaviors and like to put things in order...a lot! As I get older it seems to get worse and worse. Does that happen? I have severe anxiety attacks...mostly at night when my mind isn't guarded. When I make a mistake or when when I forget to do something I completely panic. The most recent problem is I will be going on a trip next year with a large group of people. I just got a glimpse of where we are staying and I will be most likely be rooming with someone else. Only my sister and her partner know about my problem. I started getting upset and worrying about who I will be rooming with. It took her about 30 minutes to calm me down and help me rationalize what I was getting upset about. My docs know about the anxiety attacks but I haven't gone into this much detail. I don't want to be over dramatic about being quirky. But like I said, it seems to gradually get worse as I get older. I'm now 34 years old and I can't imagine what it will be like if it gets worse. Any thoughts?

55. Posted by cp on October 5, 2009